I am reading The Kybalion which is a short book written by the Three Initiates. It is free in PDF and it is only 58 pages yet it is a wise book. (Click the book's name to open in PDF). I'm doing two chapters a week so at 15 chapters that should take the whole summer. Of course with 58 pages I could read this book in a day but the purpose is not to just read through the book but to absorb what it is teaching. Here is a sample:
What I find so true is that the deeper truths are only understood by a small number of people. Not because only a small number of people can understand the truth but because most people will not put the needed reflection time or the self assessment necessary to understand deeper truths. Understand deeper truths requires mental work and the tenacity to endure the inevitable changes truth brings to your life. In other words adepts are in short supply. And a fellowship of adepts would probably be a small group of people. That's a whammy of a reality to me. I've never been comfortable in small groups. I like LARGE groups where I can blend in and become "invisible". Where if my fickle self decides to leave a group for awhile and then show back up...who cares. Small groups require a commitment and a presence. You just don't leave and show up months later. You are vital part of the whole since the whole has few people to begin with. And a group of adepts will always be a small group. Maybe that's my issue with viewing popular fraternal orders as magickal orders. Fraternal orders tend to be large in numbers and I raise my eyebrow wondering if true adepts would join the masses in these orders. Maybe some do to be among seekers but I get this nagging feeling that real adepts join true magickal orders and these orders have small membership numbers. And they don't have flashy high priced websites and an apply online button. But in truth a fraternal order is NOT a magickal order. They don't have the same purpose.
The Hermetists have never sought to be martyrs, and have, instead, sat silently aside with a pitying smile on their closed lips, while the “heathen raged noisily about them” in their customary amusement of putting to death and torture the honest but misguided enthusiasts who imagined that they could force upon a race of barbarians the truth capable of being understood only by the elect who had advanced along The Path. And the spirit of persecution has not as yet died out in the land. There are certain Hermetic Teachings, which, if publicly promulgated, would bring down upon the teachers a great cry of scorn and revilement from the multitude, who would again raise the cry of “Crucify! Crucify.”
In this little work we have endeavored to give you an idea of the fundamental teachings of The Kybalion, striving to give you the working Principles, leaving you to apply them yourselves, rather than attempting to work out the teaching in detail. If you are a true student, you will be able to work out and apply these Principles–if not, then you must develop yourself into one, for otherwise the Hermetic Teachings will be as “words, words, words” to you.
So this small book is helping me to understand that not all esoteric groups have to be massive in size and that an exclusive number can be a good thing. I used to search online looking for these small groups but that's pointless. I can't find them I have to wait until their energy finds me. At least now I know I'm more comfortable with the cozy nature of it all.